CATECHISM AND PARENTS
“Instruct
a child in the way it should go when it is young and when the child grows old
it will not leave it” (Proverbs
22:6)
King
David did not follow this advice and lived to regret it bitterly! See 1 Kings 1:6, where it is said of King
David: ‘At no time in his life had his father ever crossed Adonijah by asking,
“Why do you behave like this?”’ Without
his father’s correction ADONIJAH became an obnoxious, unruly young man who
eventually met with a violent death.
See
also Proverbs 1:4; 3:12; 19:18; 23:13; 29:17; Sirach 30 1:13.
Dear
Parents,
Please
read this letter carefully. I hope to
visit you and your children to assist you in fulfilling your role as a Catholic
parent. Pope John Paul II has stated on
a visit to Lithuania”
“Catechism
teaching must help people to meet Jesus Christ; to talk to him and immerse
themselves in him. Without this lively
meeting with Jesus, Christianity becomes a lot of religious traditions with no
soul. This soulless religion cannot
defend the precious faith of the child against the attractions of the world, or
other religions. This meeting with Jesus
is not taught or produced by dry lessons alone, but rather ‘caught’ by the
power of a living witness”.
(29.9.99)
This
“living witness” is you, and no-one but you can do this. In a sense you make or break the child’s
faith in Jesus. (See Matthew 18:5-7). Pope John Paul insists that in religious
instruction “precedence must be given to family catechism” and “the
Church has always taught that parents are the primary educators”.
BAPTISM PROMISES:
You
may remember that at the Baptism of your child the priest read from the Rite
of Baptism.
“You
have asked to have your child baptized.
In doing so you are accepting responsibility of training the child in
the practice of the faith. It
will be your duty to bring the child up to keep God’s COMMANDMENTS as Christ
taught us, by loving God and our neighbour.
Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?”
Your
reply was ‘YES’. Please be faithful to
your promise to God. It is to God that
you must give account of your parental stewardship. You cannot take your possessions with you
when you die. But you will see your
child in Heaven if he/she is faithful to his/her baptismal promises. So guard your child’s faith as you would your
life.
We
have to beware of being like those cynical parents who use the Church to get
their kids ‘done’, and then give bad example to their children by
staying away until they want something else!
SACRIFICE:
There
are 6 Billion people in the world.
ONE BILLION are Catholic.
So the Catholic Church is the largest (and the oldest) Christian
Church. Many Catholics have made
sacrifices, even unto martyrdom for the faith of our fathers. We should be prepared to make the
sacrifices necessary to ensure that our children grow and mature in this
wonderful faith of ours.
Please
bring your child to Church. Do
not just send them! If you do not come
your child will conclude that Church is not really important and your child
will grow up to be like you, its model.
All our work is then lost. Where
one generation (parents) does not worship, the next generation (children) does
not believe in God! Be prepared to pray
daily with your child/children. “The
family that prays together, stays together”. Try also to turn off the TV at mealtimes so
as to be able to pray Grace and converse with your child/children about
his/her/their day. Give quality time
to your child/children. Considerable
frustration is caused in children, psychologists say, if parents show more
interest in the TV than in their own children.
ROLE OF PARENTS
“Parents
must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their
children. The role of parents in
education is of such importance that “it is almost impossible to provide an
adequate substitute” (The Pope and
the World’s Catholic Bishops. Vatican
II, Grav. Educ. No 3)
Pope
John Paul II follows the Second Vatican Council’s teaching when he challenges parents
to accept their ministry of catechizing their own children with tireless
zeal. He stresses that the family’s
work of catechesis has an irreplaceable character. (Cat. Trad. 68)
The
General Directory for Catechesis (No 255) presents the family as a source of
catechesis which holds a privileged position.
It states that the family is in the unique position to teach the
Gospel by rooting it in profound human values.
It lists the awakening of a sense of God, the first steps in prayer, the
education of a Christian conscience, formation in the Christian sense of love
as examples of Christian education which is ‘more witnessed than taught’. Sensitive to the contemporary breakdown in
family life in international culture, the GDC emphasizes the growing importance
of the faith of grandparents in family catechesis. It states, “their wisdom and sense of the
religious is often decisive in creating a true Christian climate”. Indeed, family catechesis “precedes,
accompanies and enriches all other forms of catechesis”. (Cat. Trad. 68)
(From
SACBC Revised Statement on Catechesis.
Catechesis : A journey of Communion and intimacy with Christ, [2012]).
“Since
they have conferred life on their children, parents have the original, primary
and inalienable right to educate them; hence they must be acknowledged as the
first and foremost educators of their children”. (Vatican Pontifical Council for the Family)
“Parents
have the first responsibility for the education of their children”. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2223)
“The
parental duty extends beyond just providing for the physical needs of
children. Each parent must take
seriously the duty to form their children as well in moral living and spiritual
formation”. (Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2221)
“The
role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost
impossible to provide an adequate substitute. The right and duty of parents to
educate their children are primordial and inalienable. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2221)
SACBC LUMKO Catechetics Books stress
the role of parents “because it is almost impossible to provide an
adequate substitute for them”. (Vat. II Grav.
Educ. No. 3):
“We acknowledge that parents are the
first teachers of faith at home..... the catechists are there to compliment
the great work of the parents at home”.
“This book does not in any way replace the duty of the parents of
setting a good example” (Our Christian Heritage Book 1, p.1)
“This
is not a child’s book, but should be used by the parents”..... it is a
book prepared to help the parents and the catechists” (Our Christian
Heritage Vol 2, p.5)
Note
the word ‘parents’ precedes Catechists.
In
the Lumko “Installation of Catechism Teachers” we read: “parents, your
children are a gift to you from God. He
has entrusted you with the task of bringing them up to practice their
faith by learning to love him and their neighbour as themselves. The catechism teachers only help you
fulfil your task. Without your example
and support their task will be fruitless.
Do you undertake to live up to your responsibilities as parents
by word and example?”
IMPORTANCE OF THE EXAMPLE
OF PARENTS.
(FRANCIS COOMBES S.J., AND
OTHERS)
Parents
should know, and realise well, that the Fourth Commandment applies extensively
to them. “Honour your Father and your
Mother” imposes on parents the grave obligation of deserving this honour”,
in their means of conducting themselves as parents. I shall give an account to God for the
souls of my children. This is no
trifling matter. Merely pointing out
faults to my children is not enough.
Well directed parental correction that develops interior obedience is
necessary. The old dictum is still
relevant: “Rules without relationship bring rebellion”. If we don’t have a relationship of trust with
our children, they rebel. If we do have
a loving relationship they accept the rules because they love the rule giver –
YOU!
“We
must never forget that in our children’s eyes, we can do no wrong. We are like God to them. That should be reason enough to send every
parent trembling in prayer to the Lord asking for direction and grace in order
to be the kind of example and grounding force needed to make big Christians out
of little ones”. (Maryann Kuharski)
“Be
the change you want to see in the world”.
(Gandhi)
I
should know and understand well, that without proper example on my part, my
words will be of little worth. Children are
very observant, and will lose respect for us if we do not practice what we
preach.
OBSERVATIONS OF POPE
FRANCIS!
Children
watch their parents carefully, the Pope said.
“They watch a lot, and when they see that dad and mom love each other,
the children grow in that climate of love, happiness and security”.
“And
they suffer when they see dad and mom every single day screaming at each other,
insulting each other, maybe even hitting each other”, he said.
“Dad
and mom, when you fall into these sins, do think about the fact that the first
victims are your children, your own flesh”.
“Please,
do not use your children as hostages!” he said.
“Never, ever speak ill of the other to your children! Never!
They are the first victims of this battle between you”.
CNS
(Southern Cross 24/06/15)
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION
It
is our task to keep track of our children, and direct them, their whereabouts,
companions, activities. Am I there for
them when they need me?
Children
and school work: Here is an excellent
area in which to build up character.
Children are admonished by the Fourth Commandment to fulfil their school
duties as directed: Parents should take proper means to see they do.
Our
personal interest in the work, wholesome activities and interests of our
children, assistance, encouragement and praise.
The
religious education of our children, even from their earliest years. This is a serious obligation. I shall give an account to God.
My
children, and Mass attendance. My
responsibility is to see that they do attend – and my duty is, to give example
by reverent participation. The home
should be a place where the children feel invited to bring their friends, it
should be a place where they can enjoy wholesome recreation, properly
supervised. Children should be
encouraged to share their problems and questions. It is important that they should feel
welcomed and encouraged. (Never
pre-judged or condemned. An action or
fault can be unacceptable, never the child, and the child must be made to feel
secure in this regard).
“Fathers
do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord”. (Eph. 6:4)
Cheerfulness
and self-control on the part of parents can foster the emotional well-being and
development of children.
Parents
have a duty to instruct their children in proper manners, especially towards
older people ... also towards each other.
People are more important than cell phone messages.
Children’s
Vocation in Life. This is primarily a matter between God and
the child: It is important that parents
be helpful in any way, especially by example and prayer. Material and worldly success should never be
the priority in a Christian home.
Parents should never interfere with God’s way, or try to force their
will towards a particular state in life.
Children’s
faith and the company that parents permit or encourage – there is a very real
and delicate responsibility there. This
includes “friends on Facebook and the social media”.
MUTUAL RESPECT AND
AFFECTION:
The
attitude that parents manifest towards each other, mutual respect, very often
cheerful submission on the part of mother to the authority of the father. The children can learn much from a mother’s
attitude. What they learn, should be
good. A father should never abuse this
authority in any way, and ideally parents should discuss and come to a common
decision especially about matters of authority.
Above all, children should not be witness to angry words between
parents. If parents should argue before
their children, the argument should be settled in front of the children, and
harmony and peace restored before them.
Parent’s readiness to share each other’s concerns, words of
encouragement and praise at times, understanding and mutual affection. Nagging is destructive, there is often a need
for cheerful silence and patience with one another.
HOLY FAMILY:
A
truly Christian family should be modelled on the Holy Family, each member
taking example for their role from either Mary as a mother, or Joseph as a
father, and children should follow the example of Jesus, especially with regard
to love, obedience and respect for their parents. Prayer must play a part in a truly
Christian home. The father, as the head
of the family, is especially needed here, to set the example. This role often falls on the mother, and may
not have the same impression on the children.
Catholics
have neglected the Bible in the past, and a short reading from the Bible is a
very useful way to teach children. It
often brings about the discussion from which the children can learn valuable
lessons. When a difficult decision has
to be made, after first praying to the Holy Spirit, a passage may be read from
the Bible, mainly the New Testament, and it is amazing how often the problems may
be solved by meditating on the Word of God, and trying to discover God’s will
for us in every situation.
Display
religious objects in your home. Have
them blessed first. Have your home
blessed. Do not be afraid to profess
your faith before others. This will give
your children the right example. Albert
Schweitzer said: “Example is not the
major way of asserting influence, it is the only way”.
TV AND SOCIAL MEDIA:
Defend
your faith when necessary. Condemn bad
morals, bad language, etc., especially when displayed on television or in
movies. Have discussion on this when
your children are older. Teach them to
be discerning, to see when something is wrong and unacceptable.
In
many homes the television set serves as a babysitter. The music gets unfiltered
as they grow older. The internet usage
goes unmonitored and is not rationed.
The cell phone becomes a false god to young boys and girls.
In
too many families, children rarely get to spend any time talking to their
fathers, especially. Instead media consumption, every waking
hour, consumes the children.
Moderation
of media usage within the family is strongly suggested by the Catechism (2496),
and by common sense.
The
Catechism states, “The home is the natural environment for initiating a human
being into solidarity and communal responsibilities. Parents
should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which
threaten human societies”(2224).
I think the general smut
you find on the majority of television programmes these days qualifies as
“compromising and degrading influences’.
The same goes for pop music, pop magazines, and pop culture at large.
Those
in the media become the ones the vast majority of children and teens
monitor. They learn their values from
their music, MTV, and the biased mass media.
Mom and dad’s view, if they even differ, get drowned out.
These
are just a few guidelines on being a Christian parent. Each family’s situation is different, but
with the practicing of our faith and trust in God, the graces will be there to
help us in our difficult tasks as parents.
“We
teach our children a lot by what we say and do, we teach them more by the kind
of people we are, and we teach them most by what we love”. (Cardinal Manning)
The
Saintly Franciscan priest, Padre Pio, once chased a woman out of
confession! Hours later when he emerged
from the confessional, the woman confronted him and asked him why she was
chased. He replied that by her bad
example she had sent one of her daughters, who had died recently, to hell.
Family
devotions:
1. Pray the family rosary.
2. Get Bible stories for children – many
books available.
QUOTES
“THOSE
WHO HAVE INSTRUCTED MANY IN GOODNESS SHALL SHINE AS BRIGHT AS STARS FOR ALL
ETERNITY”. (DAN. 12:3)
“LET
THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME AND DO NOT STOP THEM”. (JESUS)
“WHAT
IS NOBLER THAN TO MOULD THE CHARACTER OF THE YOUNG? I CONSIDER THAT HE WHO KNOWS HOW TO FORM THE
YOUTHFUL MIND IS TRULY GREATER THAN ALL PAINTERS, SCULPTORS, AND ALL OTHERS OF
THAT SORT”. (ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM)
“FROM
A VERY YOUNG AGE ARM CHILDREN WITH SPIRITUAL WEAPONS”.
(ST.
JOHN CHRYSOSTOM)
GOOD
HABITS: OUR ACTIONS REAP HABITS.
PLANT
AN ACT: REAP A HABIT.
PLANT
A HABIT: REAP A VIRTUE (OR VICE).
PLANT
A VIRTUE (OR VICE): REAP A CHARACTER.
PLANT
A CHARACTER: REAP A DESTINY.
“ASSOCIATION
AND HABIT ARE THE TWO MOST POWERFUL ALLIES OF THE EDUCATOR”.
(FR.
BERNARD HUSS C.M.M. PSYCHOLOGY FOR EVERYDAY LIFE, P.7)
“ONE
GENERATION NOT PRACTICING, BECOMES IN ONE GENERATION NON-BELIEVERS”.
“MASS
ATTENDANCE AT SCHOOL IS A GOOD PREDICTION OF MEN AFTER SCHOOL”.
(NAPA
INSTITUTE 2012 CONFERENCE)
OUR
ACTIONS REAP HABITS!
